With my last cycle being cancelled due to no follicles on CD12, we have devised a new plan… A carrier switch up and going with a known donor. So that means we are walking away from the RE and the fertility clinic. While Lyn and I have been talking about this, I still feel like it was abrupt probably due to the cancelled cycle. Overall, I am ready to walk away from the clinic. It has been stressful and costly. Over the past year and change, we have spent $12,959.74 USD and we are starting to lose faith in the IUI process with frozen/thawed sperm. If we need to go back to frozen/thawed sperm, I think IVF will be more in the conversation than IUI. I think it is amazing that we live in time where we can order sperm on the internet, find a team of medical professionals ready to help and try to start a family. But it’s not perfect and we are tired.
A couple months ago, an acquaintance in Lyn’s circle randomly shared that he would be happy to lend a hand in us starting a family. At the time, I had just started doing IUIs and we were both hopeful that the process would work. Nonetheless, while we trucked along, we had the known donor option in the back our mind. This decision to give it a try largely came from a dwindling savings account and looming stress from all the appointments and the daily doses of medication. Before evaluating IVF and spending even more money, we wanted to give this option a try.
While tossing around known donor ideas, Lyn also became fond of this fantasy of us both getting pregnant at the same time. This is not something we plan on doing at the moment but it did lead to more conversations about when she wanted to carry and start trying again. With Lyn being a couple years older than me and in a good place at her job, it made sense to pass the torch to her.
It wasn’t the easiest decision for me. And Lyn would’ve absolutely let me continue if I wanted but it felt right. Thinking about our end goal, I feel good with her odds. She got pregnant on her second try which I think is a good indication, even if it ended in miscarriage. Her cycle is back to regular and she is ready to get back in. I am disappointed in myself but I know it is not my fault necessarily. To some extent, I regret doing two unmedicated cycles but I can’t change that.
More excitingly than all the explanations of “what” and “why,” let’s move on to “when” which is now. We made this decision last Wednesday and we had to order supplies Thursday and into the weekend in order to prepare for Lyn’s ovulation estimated for Saturday–one week from now.
So, next is “how.” Lyn secured a hotel room for the two nights leading up to expected ovulation located conveniently for the donor. We ordered 5ml syringes, SoftDisc menstrual cups, pre-seed, specimen cups, and of course, OPKs. We are still ironing out the gory details but in short, we are planning on some arousal and pre-seed prior to meeting donor to improve CM. Then, we will excuse ourselves while the donor does his deposit into the specimen cup. We get some signal to come back and the donor goes about his day. Meanwhile, hips are elevated, specimen is inserted into the syringe. Then, it is slowly inserted and the SoftDisc shortly thereafter. Hips remain elevated during some stimulation leading to an orgasm to help draw the sperm closer to the uterus. After 20-30 minutes of rest, we hope for baby dust and the TWW begins.
We are excited about this new plan and we are hopeful that a baby will soon be in our future. I know this process works. We’ve done our research. Even still, we are trying not to get our hopes up for this last-minute try this week but we have no firm reasons why it shouldn’t work. As for the near future, we are meeting with the donor early this week to discuss the plan and ask any related questions face to face. We will keep you posted!